Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
