Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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