Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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