You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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