theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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