I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
