Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
