all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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