It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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