doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
