I am puke
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
