I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize