i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize