your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
