this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
