For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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