I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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