I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
