so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
