why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
