Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
