It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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