You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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