just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket