Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....