Heybabeimwearingurpanties
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
