Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.