If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
