just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
