Is it because I queefed?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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