her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
