when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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