pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
