Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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