I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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