I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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