how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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