I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
