dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
