I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
