you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
