I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I had to cum in my sink.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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