I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize