would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
