the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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