glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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