Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
