we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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