please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
