i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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