My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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