i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize