lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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