So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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