:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
