In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
