I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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