Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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