If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
