Already got asked if we're dating
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize