At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
