Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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