Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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