I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
