But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
