My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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