and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
