he wants to bone in the snuggie
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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