He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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