Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize