You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Slut skills are useful in every country.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So many bounce houses so little time
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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